The ADHD Drinker

My ADHD doesn’t let me drink
like a normal human. When I drink, I transcend what it is to be human, and I become a menace–public enemy number one. And the problem is, I really like to drink. And why? Because who wants to be human anyway.

Drinking transforms me into a reckless savage, capable of basically anything. My friends hate it and love it, because depending on whatever hormones-of-the-day blend with that vodka-tonic, I become one of two separate drinking personalities; A. Fun Until the Last Drop or B. Run-Far-The-Fuck-Away. That’s it, there’s really no in-between with me. And over the years, I’ve come to believe that a major reason for this is in fact, my ADHD-riddled brain. Now I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m merely trying to rationalize here, so please, just humor me–as you probably know deep down, we humans love to rationalize our downsides, makes us feel less responsible for the evil those downsides often create.


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