Wife, Wife, You Have a Wife!

I wrote the following poem in response to a married coworker who’d been hitting on me for almost a year until I was finally able to make it crystal clear that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him–and threatened to tell his wife all about his adulterer stupidity. The pathetic coward’s WIFE also works with us at the same company…! Like, you can’t write this s***!

Wife Wife,

…You have a wife…

…You have a wife…

So quit the strife

You have a life

With your wife.

Go home to your life

Go home to your WIFE

And stay there.

There’s nothing in my life

that intersects with YOUR life

…sorry, Your LIVES

Not in this life

…or any life for that matter


Go home to your wife

And make things right

Or don’t

I really don’t care

so long as you do it

WAY the hell over there.

You are a child

I heard you and your wife

are trying to have one-

and still you want to have FUN

then why’d you get married

and commit to babies?

This is my karma for being nice

to a married sociopath.

Not lustful or flirty

Goddam nice


Run along home now

don’t tarry

dinner’s waiting on the table

…at home with the wife.

In no life

would it have ‘might’

stop staring

stop texting

stop thinking

the answer is so much NO

that the word doesn’t suffice.

Go home to your wife

She always does you right

-one day you might

return the favor.

go back to your wife

go back to your life.


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